Over the years, codependency has expanded into a definition that describes a dysfunctional pattern of living and problem solving developed during childhood by family rules.

One of many definitions of co-dependency is a set of *maladaptive, *compulsive behaviours learned by family members in order to survive in a family that is experiencing *great emotional pain and stress.

*maladaptive – inability for a person to develop behaviours that get needs met.

*compulsive – psychological state where a person acts against their own will or conscious desires in which to behave.

*sources of great emotional pain and stress – chemical dependency; chronic mental illness; chronic physical illness; physical abuse; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; divorce; hypercritical or non-loving environment.

As adults, co-dependent people have a greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are perhaps unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. And the co-dependent person tries to provide and control everything within the relationship without addressing their own needs or desires; setting themselves up for continued unfulfillment.

Healing from Codependency. The good news is that codependency is a learned behavior, which means it can be unlearned. If you love your partner and want to keep the relationship, you need to heal yourself first and foremost.